Exploring the depths of aging and sensuality in ‘Familiar Touch’
A new perspective on aging
Sarah Friedland, a debuting director, is not done exploring the intricacies of the human body. Her upcoming film, “Familiar Touch,” which premiered in Venice’s Orizzonti section, delves into the sensuality of older adults. The film stars Ruth, portrayed by a well-known actress from “The Affair,” as she transitions to life in an assisted living facility. The cast also includes Carolyn Michelle, Andy McQueen, and H. Jon Benjamin.
“So often, we talk about older adults ‘fading away’ and things getting ‘blurry.’ But as some of their cognitive functions decline, other senses intensify. Touch, taste, smell – it can all become very vivid,” Friedland explains.
Challenging stereotypes
Friedland’s inspiration for Ruth came from observing the ‘no bullshit’ line of women. She wanted to explore what it’s like for them to lose autonomy, especially when their youth was deeply connected to feminism and independence.
“I didn’t want her to fall into these ‘little old lady,’ ‘sweet grandma’ tropes. We tend to eliminate their sexuality or joke about it. To me, that’s infantilizing and absolutely terrifying.”
Workshops and intergenerational filmmaking
Following the festival premiere in Italy, Friedland plans to conduct a series of workshops to accompany further screenings. These workshops aim to replicate the intergenerational method used during the film’s production.
“We facilitated a filmmaking workshop for residents at a real assisted living facility called Villa Gardens, encouraging them to make their own films. Later, they joined our cast and crew,” she shares.
Personal reflections and inspirations
The idea for “Familiar Touch” originated 15 years ago when Friedland’s grandmother developed dementia. Her grandmother, who valued verbal expression, became non-verbal and moved into a memory care facility. This experience profoundly impacted Friedland.
“She was physically expressive and so present,” Friedland recalls. “It changed everything I thought I knew about aging, identity, and the intimacy of care labor.”
Integrating movement and storytelling
Friedland previously created the “Movement Exercises Trilogy,” which includes the short film “Home Exercises,” where older adults navigate their daily routines. She also taught filmmaking in their communities.
“‘Familiar Touch’ was a way to integrate all that: me working with movement and bodies on camera, and working with older adults,” she says.
A poignant narrative
At the beginning of “Familiar Touch,” Ruth is visited by a stranger who tells her to follow him. She does, and he leads her to her new home. The stranger is actually her adult son, Steve. This scenario, while uncomfortable, is a reality for many people with loved ones experiencing memory loss.
“They recognize familiarity and intimacy, but they can’t quite place that relationship. My clients would see me as their peer in terms of age. You learn to meet them where they’re at and to affirm their version of reality,” Friedland observes.
Honoring desires and connections
Friedland wanted to honor Ruth’s desires for intimacy and connection, even when those desires become confused. She aimed to do this in a way that wouldn’t shame Ruth.
“I am so grateful to the actors because they were so open to Ruth and Steve’s experiences. It works because of how much nuance they brought.”
A call for reflection
Friedland, who has assisted directors like Steve McQueen and Kelly Reichardt, hopes that viewers will reflect on their own desires and needs after watching the film. She wants them to express their wishes for how they would like to be cared for as they age.
“There’s this idea that when older adults go through memory loss, they ‘lose themselves’ too. I see it in so many films, told from the perspective of their children or romantic partners and centered around grief. I wanted to make a film that doesn’t minimize that grief, but for my clients, their everyday life wasn’t marked by tragedy. It included acts of joy, pleasure, and interaction.”
Watch the trailer
For those interested in experiencing the film firsthand, you can watch the trailer for Familiar Touch.
This article aims to provide a comprehensive and personal perspective on Sarah Friedland’s “Familiar Touch,” highlighting the film’s unique approach to aging and sensuality. By integrating personal reflections and in-depth analysis, the article offers a rich and engaging read for cinema enthusiasts.